discovery #1
Meditation has done great things for my brain, and dare I say it, my heart. But I really am not even a little bit interested in the more esoteric aspects of Buddhism.If I had had any doubts on that, today's meditation workshop put them to rest.
It started off on the wrong foot for me, with some chanting that was full of references to enlightened beings who were "noble sons of noble families," which just got me thinking about what a great racket they had going in Tibet
back in the day—see, rich people are born rich because they were good in a past life, and if you want to be reborn rich in your next life, you'll not only break your back schlepping your yaks back and forth to the salt mines or tilling the barley fields, you'll give most of your salt/barley/yak's milk to the rich lazy bastards so they can sit around breathing all day while you break your back in the aforementioned activities. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying the Chinese method of "liberation" was the way to go (seeing as how it involved mass murder and starvation), but I'm not a real big fan of the old way either.
Anyway, back to today's class—after the politically incorrect chanting (which even includes the phrase "golden yoke of your imperial rule")(What can I say—I can't stop being a Marxist just cuz I'm sitting and breathing!)........it alternated between things that I already knew (good posture helps you stay comfortable; focus on your breath) and things in which I had no interest whatsoever (there are three gates to the phenomenal world and three ways of learning the dharma, or something like that).
So..... good to know.
I might give it one last shot with an upcoming event in Chicago, but then again, I might just stick to breathing.
discovery #2
I have never before had a good therapist in my entire life."Our little Italian friend" (I don't see why we shouldn't call him that, although of course he is neither little nor our friend, but how could a guy with that name not be Italian?) is a good therapist.
In itself, this is a good thing.
However, it also causes me to realize, for the first time, that in the last twelve years, I have blown a mind-boggling amount of money on people who were either crazier than I, or no more/less helpful than an especially attentive friend and a cup of tea.
Anyone who has a way to make me feel less annoyed about this, please feel free to comment. I've tried telling myself that it's still less $$ than it would have cost to put a child through college (assuming they went to Harvard), or that it's what some people spend on their weddings (if they're royalty), but so far I'm still annoyed.
3. The song.
Tonya's laundry story reminded me of many similar stories from my college years... also, of a song I made up with my dearly beloved college roommate, Amy. (If I have that wrong—which is entirely likely since this is now, what, seventeen years ago, yes we're that old—please feel free to correct me).Anyway, here it is. Sing it (I insist, sing it right now!)(kidding) to the tune of the Beatles' "Yesterday."
Laundry day
When Holworthy* seems so far away
But all my clothes are soiled with grime and gray
O look at all this laun-da-ray...
Why my clothes aren't dry I ask why,**
but no one knows. (oooo-oooo-oo-oo-oo)
What I would not give at this point
to have my clothes (oh oh oh)
I think there might have been another verse but I can't remember. Anyone else?
*esoteric Hahvahd reference... location of laundry room in the Yahd.
**universal reference...you know, when you feed more & more quarters into the dryer to no avail...
6 comments:
Keep meditating. The other crap is meaningless, but the meditation is valuable, "like gold with fragrance."
You have no idea how much I needed to hear that right now. I really OD'd yesterday and was feeling a bit lost, like maybe it was all meaningless.
Part of the unpleasantness was how the teacher wandered around the room criticizing people, and answered questions condescendingly. She smiled tightly while doing so--as though someone had told her she came across as harsh and should smile more--but the smile was also harsh. Why does someone like this teach a "beginning" class?
She's clearly of the "insult people to cure them of ego" school of thought. I'm of the "be nice to people to give them space to free themselves" school of thought.
Anyway. Thank you for this comment. Really.
This from the aforementioned dearly beloved college roommate:
Since you don't allow anonymous comments and I don't feel like signing up for blogger, poopoohead that I am, I will just say that the laundry song seems right, and I can't remember any more to it. :)
:) indeed. :) :)
Hee. Blast from the past. I don't remember who all was involved in creating the song, but I do remember you and swylv belting it out in our room.
Therapists and meditation.
I have avoided therapy since moving to Seattle because I am so ambivalent about how effective it has been in my life. I think of the three that I have had, the one I saw while in Grad School was the most useful, but I'm not sure by how much and exactly why. I think I probably need a good coach now, more than a therapist.
I think of meditation as a discipline like working out. You pick your "sport" and you do what you need to do to keep the practise alive. The good news is that there are many ways to practise it, if the workshop you went to doesn't float your boat, I'm hoping you can find others that better fit your philosophy. Also, keep it simple. Going to lots of workshops doesn't necessarily make meditation work better or faster. Its about that 5 (or however many) minutes every day on your own to practise what you alraedy know, and whatever it takes to make sure that happens, that makes the big difference over time.
thanks Bean... this is helpful too.
yes, I agree--exactly like working out. I've been doing walking meditation (I tend to fall asleep if I just sit, and the walking gives me more stimuli to stay present with, if that makes sense--larger pasture for the restless horse, they say) and it's become a good routine... stretch, walk, breathe.
I lost my bearings for a day or so there... but it really made clear how very useful meditation has been in keeping me sane. Without it I start to get that old feeling I used to have all the time, of drifting in space, disconnected from everything, very needy and lost and confused and panicky.
With this reminder.... I hope I will now go restart that routine...now this minute...or maybe I will drift further and have more to recover from. *sigh*
Whatever happens is neither the beginning nor the end, as they say...
Post a Comment