curiouser & curiouser...

It now seems obvious that not only is it ordinary to be lazy, it's actually quite sensible—after all, wild animals rest whenever they don't have to perform survival-related tasks.

This makes it possible to look at work as something that I would quite reasonably want to do as quickly as possible and with a minimum of fuss. "I'm lazy like anyone else, so I don't want to be vacuuming all night. What's the most efficient way to do this?"

It feels different to think about work this way. I'm used to thinking of work as something that has to be painful. I think I was raised to equate pain with caring: if you care, you'll suffer; if you're not suffering, you obviously don't care, and Not Caring is definitely a sign of being a Terrible Person. (Anyone who still wondered, up to now, why I converted to Catholicism at 16, is now perhaps beginning to see...

Loopy is the perfect antidote (hmmmm, is there a theme here?). She has been working on me for years now to try to get me to see that love and suffering aren't the same at all. She doesn't put up with being asked to suffer for love, and if I offer to suffer for love, she's impatient and tells me not to do that to myself. It's been a long time trying to figure out how this works.... But I think I might be starting to get the hang of it...

I'll let you know if I actually ever get anything accomplished as a result of this...