i should have left an hour ago...

...and I haven't started packing. So what else is new?

I just wanted to post briefly (so I wouldn't have so much catching up to do) and say I decided to go with "Birdie," who is a very experienced, competent teacher who knows how to do lots of stuff I want to learn how to do (creaete classroom community, push for high achievement, help students develop academic and intellectual skills). She's not too great on the equity front, I don't think (why am I always helping Black girls with math, within fifteen minutes of entering any school building? And why does it always seem that I'm the first person in their life that has tried to do so?), but I have learned a lot about that elsewhere and can continue to self-educate. Maybe I'll even help her in that department, but I'll have to play it by ear. Anyway there's a lot I have NOT learned elsewhere that I need someone like her to teach me, so I'm really glad I've found her, and I feel really lucky--again!

At first I was perturbed that she is the type of person who doesn't like my type of person (as I've been saying to friends, she's very "no-nonsense" and I tend to generate a relatively high degree of nonsense) but I have gotten over that. I decided (a) not to worry about it, because the more I panic the more nonsensical I get, and (b) just to rise to the occasion. this is my chance to just STOP being so flaky and "crazy," because I think that not only will she not put up with it, she just won't get it, and there's an aspect to my craziness (like every craziness) that requires others to "play along" in my little dramas. So i'm hoping this will be the inspiration I need to be my best self, instead of hiding behind all the neuroses and fluttering that hold me back.

I'm off to Radfest (so sweet of loopy to say she'll miss me! I'll miss her too but I think a couple days to clear our heads at the end of this hectic semester (if I can manage to follow through on my intention to hang out by the lake and read and think a bit) might be useful for both of us--not that it had to be separately but it will be useful anyway). I have to present tomorrow morning on "Brown v Board, 50 years later, how much the schools in this town suck for students of color". What fun (not). But I'll be glad to share some of this info that I've been bursting full of ever since I've learned it.