what is the weather like?

i set up an RSS feed for the weather reports from four cities I'll be spending the most time in in Iran... the weather reports come in regularly and i scan them obsessively, trying to make sense of the information....

i realize that i'm trying to predict the future, trying to be Fully Prepared, trying to defend myself against the unknown. i don't know how to dress in that climate and under those dress code laws. i'm afraid i'll be hot and sweaty and stink; i'm afraid i'll be cold and miserable and get sick. i'm afraid, i'm afraid, i'm afraid. it's a theme of my life.

it could be a trip to Iran or to Madison, to the post office here in our small town--anything can kick off that anxiety--what if i don't bring the right things, what if i forget something, what if my back hurts, what if i'm hungry and there's nothing to eat.

huh. i guess it's kind of obvious why this makes me late. on some level i'm afraid to leave home because what if i have a need and it's not filled?

i know what my (baby beginner) buddhist training says to this, but for once, i feel that it's perhaps kinder to me to tell those voices to be quiet and just have some compassion for this profound anxiety that makes all my bones hurt.

when i write that i start to cry.

Eşfahān, IRN - Weather via MSN Weather Current Conditions (as of 4:20 PM) Mostly Cloudy. Temp: 73F (Feels like 73). Humidity: 25% Winds: 7 mph SW. All times shown are local to Eşfahān, IRN. Today: Cloudy. Lo: 50F. Hi: 76F. Chance of precipitation: 40% Tomorrow: Mostly Cloudy. Lo: 46F. Hi: 73F. Chance of precipitation: 30% Tuesday: Cloudy. Lo: 44F. Hi: 68F. Chance of precipitation: 75% Wednesday: Clear. Lo: 45F. Hi: 74F. Chance of precipitation: 45% Thursday: Fair. Lo: 46F. Hi: 74F. Chance of precipitation: 20% More information at MSN Weather (Powered by Foreca)