modest Barbie*

So in preparation for going to Iran, at first I was focused on learning to speak Farsi and trying to memorize the extremely complicated history (despite its geography, the area now encompassed by Iran seems to have spent most of history belonging to two or three separate empires which periodically conquered each other).

But as the actual trip approaches I've become more and more obsessed with figuring out what to wear. At left: my visa photo!

In photos I've seen of women in Tehran, they have their scarves way back on their heads (perhaps a political as well as fashion statement). They look elegant and suave and I have no idea how those scarves stay on there. (Look at that photo at right! How do they do that???? For me, it would take a hundered bobby pins to make anything stay at that angle!)**

Meanwhile, in photos of foreigners in Iran, the women always look makeshift and ridiculous. At first my search for things to wear was based on not looking ridiculous.

"I don't need to make a statement with my clothes," I reasoned. "If something more conservative is easier to wear and looks better, I don't mind looking more conservative." See photo below left--that thing's not coming off--no way, no worries!*** But as I googled more and more the political import started to feel unavoidable and now I don't know what I think....



Also, the concern with not looking ridiculous started to be superseded by several practical questions, such as the scarf question above, and perhaps most importantly, how do you dress in layers for changeable autumn weather (low 45/high 85) if you can't take off the layer that comes down to your knees?

(I mean, if your long layer is a coat and you have a wool sweater underneath, you can't take off the coat to remove the sweater. So if you make the long layer something that goes under the sweater, what is it? And do you wear the same one every day, in which case you have to wear something else under it (more layers, ack!) or do you buy a different one for every day and at the end are left with a stack of tunics or something silly like that?)

What was interesting was that as I googled around looking at all the things I could wear, and as I started to think within the "logic" of the system--about when and how I would be able to adjust how many layers I was wearing--I was really struck by the fact that you're covering up skin as though protecting it from biting wind or cold or something....but actually you're just protecting it from a maelstrom of dangerous eyes...

And as I kept googling I came across all kinds of things....

Here are some instructions for putting on the three most common types of headwear, which cleared up a lot of mysteries for me. (The short answer: pins).

Here is a swimsuit.... not guaranteed by any clerical source, but I can't imagine how it could not be acceptable; what else could possibly be covered??

And, articles written by women about bravely flouting the dress code in Iran and about deepening your faith through covering up....

History? What history? And I haven't looked at my Farsi flash cards in days. Clearly my priorities are sliding totally askew.

And finally, my mother's contribution to this endeavor:



"So in case you get totally fed up with the scarf, I sent you a baklava that you can wear instead..."

"Ma, if I wore a baklava on my head, honeyed syrup would get in my eyes."

"You know what I mean [anyone else's mother would have added, "Ms. Smarty-pants"]. I sent you one because I know my hair is so slippery I would never be able to get the scarf to stay on."

Thanks Mom.... I think I'll have to be pretty desperate to wear this.... but I'll take it along because, after all, you never know. Those eyeball-maelstroms can be pretty fierce after all..

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* Title is a reference to this news story which infuriated Loopy at the time and still does.
** Photo of women looking up is by Azadeh Asaran on Flickr
*** Photo of woman in white is by Hamed Saber on Flickr.