not a good sign

When we were in Chicago I picked up the Windy City Times, which had a "youth" column that was, well, a bit strange.

The writer's topic was the mysterious interconnection between crushes, sex, and love. Essentially the point was something like this: when you get all nervous, scared and sweaty over the thought of saying "hello" to someone new, well, that's not love. That's just a crush. And, boys & girls, you shouldn't have sex unless you're really in love. (What the $*&%$# kind of puritan queer kids are we spawning here?)

Anyway, how do you know you're really in love?

Well, apparently, love is when you have been dating that person for a while, and they still make you all nervous, scared and sweaty ("heart pounding, throat closing, sweat pouring" was the exact phrase).

I didn't know whether to be more disturbed by the puritan attitude or the kid's idea of love. I kept meaning to write to the author to try to explain two things.

First of all, as Franklin told me a long time ago (in the Lowell House dining hall no less), "casual" sex is very nice, even if not quite as nice as sex with someone you love. (Some years later, when I determined that Franklin was right and the Catholic Church was wrong, I was stunned by the implications and became an atheist).

Second, if you are nervous, scared and sweaty around someone you have been dating for a while, you either have an anxiety disorder or an abusive relationship.

Diagnosis: too much Disney!!!

This is supposed to be the beginning of a mushy post about my own true love, but I'm going now to actually spend some actual time with the real-life version. More to follow tomorrow.