"What's that, Lassie? Timmy's in the well???"

This morning I laughed so hard I gave myself a sore throat. It was the funniest thing ever. Ever, ever, ever. (Look, the nice doggy is laughing too-->). And you're in luck, because I am going to tell you all about it.

I love BBC America. I am in general a fan of British humor. Lately I have discovered some really funny Anglo-Indian TV, including a show called "Goodness Gracious Me,"* which is basically just hilarious comedy sketches.**

Here is a painstaking transcript of this morning's sketch (which as mentioned previously made me laugh so hard my throat still hurts):

Young South Asian man in front of a home. With a worried, urgent look on his face, he is looking down and off-camera.

Young man (South Asian accent): "Lassie, what is it Lassie, what are you saying—somebody's in the well?"

Cut to a small glass of milk, which is twitching and gurgling, making small "urp" noises....

It takes a minute to realize that this is....

Lassi....

[here I laughed so hard that I had to rewind 3 times to hear the rest of the dialogue]

Cut back to the young man, who turns and calls, "Babaji, come quick! Lassi says there's somebody in the well!"

An older, turbaned man strides through a doorway and regards the young man with mild curiosity. He then picks up the Lassi, looks at it, puts it to his ear as if to listen, then quickly drinks it down. Looking satisfied, he has one word to say before going back indoors:

"Salty."

The younger man, looking shocked and horrified, takes the now-empty glass, caresses it mournfully, then cries out in a childlike anguish,

"Lassi! Lassi! Noooooooooooooooo!***

I know it doesn't really work in print, but if you go to an Indian restaurant with me in the next, oh, year or so, you'll want to know why I'm laughing myself silly over my beverage order. "Salty! Bwahhahahahahahahahahaha!" (Perhaps you will now be avoiding going to an Indian restaurant with me).

---

*Also according to the BBC website, "The show's title alludes to the hit comedy record 'Goodness Gracious Me' made by Peter Sellers and Sophia Loren to promote their 1960 film The Millionairess, in which Sellers, in brownface make-up, played an Indian doctor." Lovely.

**According to the BBC's "Goodness Gracious Me" website, "recurring characters...include Smeeta Smitten, Showbiz Kitten (Syal), a Bollywood gossip columnist; the nouveau riche Kapoor family, who were desperate to be fully English and insisted their name was pronounced Cooper; Mr 'Everything Comes From India' ('The royal family? Indian! Have arranged marriages, live in the same house and all work for the family business. Indian!')." And, "Many of the show's most successful moments were simple 'reversals', like the recurring sketch in which an Indian film crew making a travel documentary about London view it in the same patronising manner that such past fare had looked at Delhi or Bombay..."

***Actually he said "Nehhhhhhhhhhhhh!" which I think is an Indian wail of mourning, but it was a bit confusing written down.

"What's that you say Lassi?" "Salty."