update

First, an update on the previous post: it was just a cold.

Loopy had been feeling achy and miserable for a couple days, and with everything she's been through, there were a couple different things that could have been going wrong. Our doctor back in Madison told us to just go in to the ER just to be on the safe side. Once we got to the ER she started sneezing, so it got to be a bit more obvious, but we still waited for test results.

Anyway. She's fine. Just miserable.

I must say, though, we are getting quite experienced at this whole ER business. This time (which is, what... our fifth time in the last, uh, five months?) we brought a fabulous dinner and the laptop with a DVD in it.

So, although Loopy was sick, I at least was not as miserable as usual, as we savored our sumptuous desserts and watched "Good Night, and Good Luck." (We didn't get far enough into it to review it).

All in all, though, not my favorite way to spend an evening.

This afternoon, Loopy's nephew mentioned he was cold and I got him some blankets; as I tucked in his feet, he very sweetly said that maybe I should consider becoming a nurse.

This is not the first time in the last six months that someone has suggested I might be destined to be a nurse. I do appreciate that it's meant as a compliment to my caregiving.

I am glad to do what I can to make my loved ones more comfortable. However, the thought of being a nurse is not appealing; it's like saying, "hey, you're getting really good at being in hell, why don't you spend the rest of your life there?"

Huh. This makes me think that maybe my resistance to being in hospitals is making my time there more unpleasant than necessary? Maybe if I were more positive about it, it would be more pleasant?

Naw.... don't think so.

Please rest assured that if you are among the people I have cared for in the last six months, or if I should end up at your hospital bed in the future, I don't resent it, because I love you. I've learned that I can be genuinely helpful and I'm glad to help people I love.

But I don't enjoy it either. If I don't love you, I will avoid ending up at your hospital bed. Or if I end up there, it will be for a brief visit, and I will not hold your shirt while the nurse changes your dressing.

I'm pretty sure about that.