just another day...

(from an email to a friend, hence all the abbrev's etc... just realized i wanted to share this with all my friends so... copy-paste is yr pal lol)

god such a ridiculous day today (w the students)... yest (at school)
was so great... the worst beh probs were absent and
the rest of the students actually did some work! it was awe-inspiring.
i felt like a teacher instead of a babysitter. just a little glimpse
of the promised land!

today i was really tired, and not well prepared.... the lack of
preparation steals all my energy and conviction and i just sort of go
through the motions - the students smell it and run all over me.

on top of that, today i had a meeting about a student, with his foster
mother and the social workers and special ed teachers. the Mom told
everyone that her son was acting up at school because i'm a bad
teacher and the students don't respect me. meanwhile the social worker
was defensive and cranky and wanted to be the expert and make everyone
else feel stupid (me, the parent....). it was kinda hellacious. i was
so mortified about what the parent said that i came back and yelled at
the students.... now i feel bad about it.

and of course the social worker looked in to see if the mom was right abt my room being in disarray... and because of the above-mentioned tiredness and under-preparedness... it was.... damn it all ...