progress not perfection

That's one of the little slogans of Al-Anon (& other 12-step groups)... you know, like "Easy does it" and "One day at a time." (I've been going to Al-Anon mtgs occasionally and reading some of the lit).

I'm tempted to focus on what I screwed up today: to avoid doing some work for a committee I'm on, I ended up playing with iTunes for, uh, four hours. I imported a couple of CDs, made an "I love Loopy" playlist, and modified some of my other playlists I haven't been happy with.

Now I feel like shit.

OK, "progress not perfection." Right. How can I reframe this in those terms?

So, yesterday Loopy left for Chicago... so I'm home alone again, after having gone to Chicago with her the last two weeks.

Those who have been following my adventures closely will remember that I have struggled to stay "on track" while she's out of town. I tend to stay up til 4 am and not eat much...or get out of my chair.

So last night went to sleep at 1:30. That was actually a pretty big deal.

This morning I got up, had a good breakfast, didn't get on the computer during breakfast, stretched, walked on the treadmill, and had a good lunch (both breakfast and lunch were leftovers, extra bonus points there!).

After lunch I thought I would just do my committee work quickly and then get on with schoolwork... but after a phone convo about the committee work, I gradually veered off the path more and more...with a stopover on this blog earlier in the afternoon... until I ended up in the monomaniacal iTunes fog.

So, okay. Let's look at it like this. Fourteen hours is a new record for staying on track while Loopy's gone. Fourteen... doesn't sound like much but it's more than, uh, let's see, what's my prior record?

Zero? One or two at most...

Huh. That does make me feel better.

Until I start to think about how crazy this whole problem is in the first place... (see how I just drag myself back down as soon as I perk up? Stop that!!!) <-- attempting to use my new alpha-dog voice...

OK. I put some rice on for dinner and am gonna have a bath while it cooks. Hoping that restores me to sanity (yup, a hot bath is my higher power, at least for tonight).

Hoping you're all feeling pretty sane... have a good night & thanks for reading.

for your procrastinatory pleasure...

Everyone's probably heard about the traumatized baby hippo, Owen, that befriended the 130-year-old tortoise after the tsunami... well, today they got a spot on Cuteoverload.com, and inspired by that I did some googlin'.... turns out... Owen & Mzee have a blog!!!

Yes, now you can keep up with their activities all day, every day. Here's an excerpt...

Today (26.9.05) Owen has stayed close to Mzee, following him everywhere. Owen is gaining confidence and becoming bolder, especially when he is with Mzee. He also shows this when he is on his own. Recently when some visitors came to see Owen, instead of him going into the wtaer or hiding in the bushes as he tends to when there are visitors,he is showing them threat signs, as if to tell them to go away. He yawns widely at them and exhales loudly, and watches the visitors closely. But he is not hiding anymore or getting startled.

Awwwww... he yawns widely at them and exhales loudly instead of hiding in the bushes... good for you, Owen!

But wait, there's more...

[14.10.05]... Although [Owen] is courageous towards people, he is not when it comes to Mzee. Everything he does and everywhere he goes depends on what pleases Mzee. Mzee is also quite bossy. When Mzee is on land eating and Owen decides to go into water, Mzee would follow him there and push him trying to get him out of the water. Owen can be stubborn and doesn’t just oblige that easily. So it takes Mzee a lot of nudging before he finally succeeds in making Owen do what he wants.

But sometimes it's the other way around...

[8.11.05] Though Mzee was fast asleep Owen clearly wanted to go for walk. Early evening hours are his most active. Eventually Owen nipped Mzee on the back foot and at first Mzee just moved his foot, then raised his head and they seemed to talk to each other for moment. Then he went back to sleep. But after a few more minutes Owen nipped Mzee's foot again, this time Mzee didn't resist, and got up - Owen trotted to a position beside Mzee and they walked off.

There's a photo on the site of the caretaker who writes the blog entries... and here's a little message from him...

It is so enjoyable updating this diary because I enjoy reading all your comments. I must thank you all for caring so much about Owen and Mzee. I hope you will come and visit Owen and Mzee here in Mombasa. They have pleased thousands of visitors already this year. Please keep checking the Diary and let us know what you would like to read about.

Oh god, I'm officially addicted to this blog.

Oooh, wait, here's the best part... Dec. 2004—you can read about Owen's rescue and how he came to the park and made friends with Mzee.

In other news... there's a brave squirrel outside picking acorns out of the lawn and eating them. Thank you, squirrel... I hate picking baby oak trees out of the lawn...

OK, back to work!

yes, another pointless post...

of course, I couldn't resist this quiz...

Your results:
You are Malcolm Reynolds (Captain)

Malcolm Reynolds (Captain)		90%		Honest and a defender of the innocent. You sometimes make mistakes in judgment but you are generally good and would protect your crew from harm.
Zoe Washburne (Second-in-command)		65%
Wash (Ship Pilot)		65%
Inara Serra (Companion)		60%
Dr. Simon Tam (Ship Medic)		60%
Kaylee Frye (Ship Mechanic)		45%
River (Stowaway)		35%
A Reaver (Cannibal)		20%
Derrial Book (Shepherd)		15%
Jayne Cobb (Mercenary)		0%
Alliance		0%

Click here to take the Serenity Personality Quiz



Glad to know I have more in common with a reaver than with Shepherd Book... I think it was when I answered "yes" to "are you crazy?"

This was entertaining but it was also always obvious which character they were talking about... "Are you good with machines?" "Do you like to play with toys?" etc. It didn't help that all the questions for each character were all in a row. But maybe that was the point....

good things come...

...to those who wait long enough... or something like that was what my Mom used to say. Well, I don't really believe that, but if you've been waiting for pix and a report of our fun day with Amy, you've been waiting a while, and good things are coming your way, I promise.

Just not yet.

But here are a couple photos to tide you over. Click on either for a bigger version.

Amy & me in front of LUSH (note I'm wearing my new favorite sweater, the one Loopy hates)	Amy at the Shedd Aquarium

In other news:

• I found my inner grownup but lost it again, sort of, temporarily, but, you know, these things take time....
  
• Loopy and I had some stormy sessions with Our Little Italian Friend and had a breakthrough but then I screwed it up, a little, but basically everything is much better.
  
• I wrote to my two advisors and told them "I'm coming back," and also wrote to the administrator-type-person who is in charge of deciding whether I can do that or not and she said I can.
  
• I'm almost done with the work for one of my classes.
  
• I got to see Joel again!
  
• My friend Maya also visited us in Chicago and we went to the zoo and the Japanese grocery store.
  
• Loopy is downstairs right now cooking delcious things, yay!

So basically life is good! Mostly!

Now my inner grownup and I are going downstairs to stretch and walk on the treadmill. Really we are. I promise. (This doesn't sound very grown-up, does it! Oh dear!)

OK, so not all people suck all the time...

A nice lady named Susan found my phone. I met her at this, our favorite internet cafe (Loopy posted about it here—just don't order any espresso drinks, they take forever and taste weird, but everything else made by the Latino & Middle Eastern staff is wonderful—try the homemade hummus, oh my god!!!) and gave her four Vosges truffles to thank her for all her trouble (which included not only picking up the phone from the sidewalk(!!!), but, since this is me we're talking about, also included playing annoying phone tag all day about how we could meet).

Also, Peter Gabriel's song 'In Your Eyes' is playing. When I was religious it used to make me think of god, then for years it made me think about how I used to be religious, but lately with the changes being wrought by couples' therapy it has started to make me think of Loopy....

Damn John Cusack... I've never seen that movie, but as I understand it, anyone who has will never think of anything else when they hear that song.

So I'll never be able to dedicate or play it to Loopy without her rolling her eyes and thinking of that dumb scene. Rats.

Anyway, Loopy is another of the people referred to in the title of this post, who not only doesn't suck but helps make life worth living. And so are all of you, my dear readers. Thank you for reading. I really appreciate it.

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

I seem to have lost my cell phone... so for the moment I can be reached via Loopy's cell phone.... not via email, though, no wireless in the apartment... boo-hoo.

I have been on a semi-diet the last few days, maybe almost a week, but when it started to look like I really did lose the phone, I bought and ate a chocolate chip cookie the size (and shape, oddly enough) of my fist.

I have to apologize to dear Amy for not blogging about our fun day Sunday, and to Loopy for not blogging about how great my birthday was. I've been sort of spacy and weird lately and haven't felt I could focus enough to do justice to either occasion. But I'll make up for that soon!

"jesus"

That was the subject line of an email my friend Sarah K sent me... here's what she was talking about.

(I'm taking a page out of Shamus's book and posting a large chunk of the relevant article here, because....well, just because. And, I'm not linking to the article because it's got some kind of automated trackback feature that would cause my blog to pop up on the Washington Post page, which would obviate all that trouble I went to after the baby name catastrophe. I know you can find the article if you want to...the Great God Google is your friend.)

South Dakota lawmakers yesterday approved the nation's most far-reaching ban on abortion, setting the stage for new legal challenges that its supporters say they hope lead to an overturning of Roe v. Wade.

The measure, which passed the state Senate 23 to 12, makes it a felony for doctors to perform any abortion, except to save the life of a pregnant woman. The proposal still must be signed by Gov. Mike Rounds (R), who opposes abortion. [It was signed into law today]

The bill was designed to challenge the Supreme Court's ruling in Roe , which in 1973 recognized a right of women to terminate pregnancies. Its sponsors want to force a reexamination of the ruling by the court, which now includes two justices appointed by President Bush.

"The momentum for a change in the national policy on abortion is going to come in the not-too-distant future," said Rep. Roger W. Hunt, a Republican who sponsored the bill. To his delight, abortion opponents succeeded in defeating all amendments designed to mitigate the ban, including exceptions in the case of rape or incest or the health of the woman. Hunt said that such "special circumstances" would have diluted the bill and its impact on the national scene.

Kate Looby, director of Planned Parenthood of South Dakota, which plans to immediately challenge the ban, said that while she was not surprised, she was still a "little shocked" by the vote. "Clearly, this is a devastating day for the women of South Dakota," she said. "We fully expected this, yet it's still distressing to know that this legislative body cares so little about women, about families, about women who are victims of rape or incest."

In other news, there was a string of bombings in India today, apparently targetting Hindus in the ancient holy city of Varanasi on the eve of an important spring festival.

I've been there... Varanasi that is... I watched the sun rise over the Ganges from a boat on the river... as the sun rose, I set free a little boat made of newspaper, with the cargo of one orchid and one candle, which somebody had sold me on the dock. Along the shoreline people were standing waist-deep in the river water, praying and performing ritual ablutions, raising their arms and voices, closing their eyes in the dawning light, wet saris sticking to their skin.... At the same time hundreds of others along the riverbank were doing laundry, brushing their teeth, cremating their relatives, etc. It was so intensely alive, so full of every human emotion and activity you could imagine, all bathed in this incredible morning light that somehow seemed to pour over everything like a thick pink syrup... one of those perfect moments that I'll never, ever forget.

I wonder if this latest bombing spree will be followed by anti-Muslim riots and killings, like in 2002.

People fuckin' suck, man.