winter blahs

so another year older... last week or two i've been going downhill pretty steadily... so tired... think the winter's getting to me... have felt over my head at school - have three classes instead of two - and a lot of new students, few of whom are at all pleasant; meanwhile most of my old favorite students are gone to other teachers. or so it seems atm. and i just got a raft of additional responsibilities which, at the time i volunteered for them, seemed exciting and an honor, but now seem overwhelming and heavy.

i did promise myself on my birthday, to try to take care of myself this year and not look for other people to cheer me...

i probably just need some sleep. did i write before that i got diagnosed with sleep apnea? but i'm still waiting for the treatment, for various reasons. i'm sleepy all the time, and every time i sit down i fall asleep. it's embarrassing in meetings and really not good in the classroom - hafta stay on my feet all day. i even wrecked my car falling asleep while driving, so i don't really drive anymore.

on the plus side, my psychiatrist is also a doctor of sleep medicine and she said i'd probably lose a lot of weight once i get my treatment (a cpap machine - Loopy already has one) and need less medication. we'll see. it would be nice to have my waist back lol. most of all it would be nice to want to stay awake past 8:30.

so... you know... that's how it is sometimes...

on the plus side, Loopy bought me 4 dozen roses, a chocolate cake, and a wireless printer for my birthday. we went out to eat at a Japanese home cooking restaurant, one of my faves. yay!