hmmmmmmmmm.......: gone

hmmmmmmmmm.......: gone

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

gone

I'll write more later... Dad died this morning... we are ok... sadness feels like tiredness... I couldn't bring myself to talk to him or say goodbye while he was gasping like a fish out of water for the last three days, but once he was still and silent and going cold, I talked to him and told him some things I wished he hadn't done, and some things I was glad he did, and that I understood, and the he was a good dad, and cried a lot.

More later.

1 comment:

nadine said...: ((((Hugs)))); 9:40 PM, January 22, 2008

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*The quote in the top bar is from Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche, whom I tend to view with some suspcion as a person (great teacher or charismatic cult leader? I'm not sure!), but whose teachings I often find useful nonetheless... here is a further elaboration:

The sense of trust is that, when you apply your inquisitiveness, when you look into a situation, you know that you will get a definite response.

If you take steps to accomplish something, that action will have a result--either failure or success. When you shoot your arrow, either it will hit the target or it will miss. Trust is knowing that there will be a message.

When you trust in those messages, the reflections of the phenomenal world, the world begins to seem like a bank, or reservoir, of richness. You feel that you are living in a rich world, one that never runs out of messages....

You trust, not in success, but in reality.... [W]hatever the result that comes from your action, that result is not an end in itself. You can always go beyond the result; it is the seed for a further journey.

And,

Often, when someone tells us we should be fearless, we think they're saying not to worry, that everything is going to be all right. But unconditional fearlessness is simply based on being awake....

[F]earlessness is unconditional because you are neither on the side of success or failure. Success and failure are your journey.